Botox & The Baster

A woman thinks she has it all figured out–straight love that is. She thinks that she wants a love, a family, a house–but then one day all those possibilities present themselves, and they aren’t good enough. She struggles between settling and facing the reality that no perfect relationship exists. She makes the mistake in believing that just because a man is loyal and loves her, he wants to be with her indefinitely and make her happier.

You see, it is her job to make herself happy, but is it wrong to want someone to share the rent, the bed and the vacations with? I guess that’s what some people think dogs and kids are for. The horror, you are thinking? Why treat them all like companions? Because the reason women create more drama than men is because we do not know what we want. There, I said it, and admitting it doesn’t make me an anti-feminist. It makes me honest.

The condescending narcissistic aspiring intellects declare those with “simple” goals to be status quo. Why would we want a Gucci for every season, a Tiffany solitaire and an UES co-op? We wouldn’t because we don’t want anything we think the system silently told us to covet. But, why kill it for those that are fulfilled by such finite things?

You see, sometimes, when you world is not what you expected, you want a quick fix, an easy way out. Expecting a man to decide your future may be what seems like an easy way out and your married friends will think, he was an asshole for bailing, he has commitment issues. But, did he ever say he wanted a relationship? Did he ever promise to love you in the conventional fashion? Would you rather have had countless insane orgasms and a friend for life, or a husband that may not have been the perfect match? A man that would have always loved his dream more than you? A man that would’ve bucked the chance to be a great family man for the opportunity to one day grace the cover of the Journal?

What makes women wait longer to get married and have children is not just the ability to have a fulfilling career and work goals. It is the right we now have to choose who we want to spend time with. We are no longer property backed by dowries, with an expiration date. Thanks to Botox and the baster, our beauty and the ability to procreate can be extended.

Of course I’ve never tried either, and come to think of it, I’m more a Restylane girl than a Botox Queen. Either way, Botox, baster, Restylane or laser facial, give it five to 10 and I’ll be on all wagons.